It's been a while since I last write about work or family or relationship or current event or war or pain or happiness - about something personal - about me.  I mean - whatever happens to "people-like-us-who-find-solace-by-writing-because-it's-our-sanity" kind of principal...?  I didn't even write about my Raya celebration - for God's sake.  I know, 'ini bukan sesuatu yang wajib, buat dapat pahala, tak buat dapat dosa' kind of thing, but blogging has been like some kind of necessity to me.  And not to write - feels weird.

I am thinking of changing this blog layout.  And everytime the thought crosses by my mind - my entries will be blocked - to save some space for the creative machine in my head.

A lot a lot a lot has been going on recently.  My new resolution is to come clean - and my first step is to come clean with my other half.  It feels good, to shed tears for the mistakes, to promise one another to take another step towards a better life - a better path - a better way - a blessed one.

I've been broken by a person I trusted so much - whom I only knew for a merely 1 and half years, and my trust exceeds the trust towards another person whom I knew for a freaking 5 years.  When the trust is broken, I went downhill.  Everything in my mind was filled with contempt, and how I wish I could turn back the time and do things differently.  It's like, aku di sini ranap gila memikirkan kebodohan yang berlaku, and the person on the other side, is just leading a normal life, like a heartless insensitive piece of brat -- who doesn't really act the sweet talks he used to talk.

Within that period of bleak moments, I am willing to take everything - EVERYTHING - just to cover the wound, just to move on, just to let go when I can't even forgive things that he did to me.  You are not letting go when you don't forgive - but - I can't.  I simply can't.  I got myself immersed with books, and work, and tv, but involuntarily my mind seems to associate every single thing to that jerk.

And that's when everything falls into place - piece by piece.  At one night, I was flipping through the Holy Book, when I found the word that puts me back to may sanity.  Words of God that cooed me back to my peace.

And the person, whom I called my other half - who in the first place is just a rebound person, to get over my past, yet, he is still there, listening as I came clean about everything, and are willing to accept me the way I am when I have nothing left to offer, and are still there to make me laugh again, and to paste that smile on my face again.

I didn't even tell you people that I have a housemate.  Wait - not A housemate, but 2 housemate.  Who turns out to be a very supportive and entertaining buddy, by which I have a lot in common with - that has been helping a lot through my healing process.

And work....  Work has been great!  It started of in the wrong foot, but I managed.  I enjoyed every moment of standing in front of the room and leading the mind of young generation towards their future.  I wanted to dedicate one whole entry on this subject alone, but considering that a lot has been going inside my head, might as well I spill it all here.

Reputation that was once being tarnished is re-worked. 

Family - yeah, there's a bit loopholes along the way, but it's getting better.  Way better. 

I love this feeling.  I really do.  It's just simple happiness that has brought me back to my sanity.  I am so positive that every breeze feels like a breath of fresh air.  Yeah, pain makes you understand the true meaning of happiness.

Meanwhile, you can wait just a moment as I 're-brand' this layout.